05 January 2018

Hurricanes Suck

Hurricanes fucking suck.

It's been years since we'd been hit hard with a storm, so when Irma was coming in hot we were a little irritated. Weekend plans totally ruined. Yard is gonna flood, just one big inconvenience.

I was feeling pretty calm, mainly because we've been through this song and dance many times before. We are Floridians, we got this.


Then it started to get a little crazy, rapidly increasing in category, so Blas was going to make me go to his dad's house for the duration. 

Joey, calm as a cucumber, as mama panics

Being the stubborn woman I am, I refused to leave. I just packed up some essentials just in case we had to make a last minute dash, then we all camped out in the front room for the duration.

Everything seemed pretty mundane for a hurricane. Lots of wind, very little rain. We spent most of the evening joking around, watching the news, even cooking dinner (the power went out right as we finished). After it got dark we hit the living room to ride things out. Power would be back on in several days, things were gonna be ok.

Then, at around two in the morning, the house fucking shook

For the second time in a month, I questioned if I was going to live to see the next day. I had no idea what the hell had just happened, or if the roof was about to come off because of how bad the winds were.

A pine fell onto the back of the house, on the bedroom where Joey and I would have been sleeping had Blas not made us come into the front room with him.

For the rest of the night I was paranoid, but finally managed to get a little sleep at about five in the morning.

The next day we got up to survey the damage.

The tree separated the plywood up on the roof and now I have lovely hole. That thing runs from the back wall several feet in. When it rains it sounds like a waterfall in there.


 

The tree is MASSIVE. It's survived many a hurricane but this stupid one took it down? 




I still don't have a corner of my roof, btw, because FEMA only gave me a grand, which isn't enough to get someone to do it so we have to do it ourselves.









It's January and we are still sleeping in the living room. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have an infant.

Luckily a girlfriend of mine gave me her mattress because she moved recently. So my living room looks like a bedroom. I just miss having my own personal space. I miss the privacy of having my own room.

Since it's been so long the problem has gotten worse, but my boyfriend only has one day off a week at most, and then he works ten hour days at the restaurant the rest of the week. Little by little he's been cutting back the tree, which has to go before we can do much else, but now half of the ceiling in the room has molded and I've lost some belongings in there to water damage.

The outside does look much better, though, because of how much he's cut the tree back.

It's really shown me how little I need to live, so when we do get moved back in I'll probably end up getting rid of a lot of what's in there. I haven't touched much of it in months so I suppose I don't need it!

What makes things worse is this kills my depression, and when my depression is in full force I don't want to do anything. I take care of the baby, yeah, but other than that? I don't have the motivation. This is how my mind works - half of the house is jacked up, so what's it going to hurt for more of it to be messed up?


It makes me feel like a totally lazy bum.

It doesn't take much to make me feel like a bum or a potato these days with postpartum depression being slapped on top of the current depression issues I already have.

My goal for this year is to get the house fixed and improve on some other aspects of the place since it's not exactly the nicest place in the world. My grandmother things the place is a hovel for some weird reason. Then again the woman also acts like my family is completely destitute when that is the furthest from the truth. I know I'm currently a stay at home mom and only my boyfriend is working, but damn. We are doing just fine for people living in a front room, thank you very much.


12 November 2017

Review: Maple Holistics Tea Tree Oil Shampoo

One of my favorite things about myself is my hair. I've always put a little more care into taking care of it versus other things in my life, and it's always shown for it. Vitamins, oils, shampoos, treatments, I've tried it all.

The most recent thing I've tried is the Tea Tree Oil shampoo from Maple Holistics.


17 October 2017

I Almost Died In Childbirth

I had my baby!

August 9, 2017
Joey was born on August 8, 2017 at 1:42 in the morning via emergency c-section.

He unexpectedly arrived roughly a month early, at 36 weeks gestation, due to me having severe preeclampsia which developed into HELLP syndrome.

I know birth stories aren't exactly everyone's bag, so please feel free to skip this post if you aren't into that kind of thing!


02 June 2017

A Lot Has Changed

I know I've been really MIA lately. This last six months has been a whirlwind of events that have essentially set my life on it's ear.

I managed to make it through the depression of losing my father then I suddenly lost my aunt in January. She had a brain aneurysm on a Sunday and was gone by Tuesday. No signs, just feeling a bit off and then suddenly gone.

Then in February we found out that I'm pregnant! We hadn't really been trying, I just stopped taking my birth control and left it in God's hands. Some people I know have taken over a year to conceive so I didn't expect anything right away, but we were one and done!


27 December 2016

Dear 2016, Please Stop

2016 seriously has absolutely no chill. 

Today we lost not only a great actress, but an advocate for mental health. 


For me, growing up, Carrie was an icon. What little girl didn't want to be Princess Leia? (I'll admit, I went through a phase where I wanted to be Lando Calrissian- don't judge me ๐Ÿ˜)

As I got older I saw how she was very outspoken about her struggles with her own bipolar diagnosis. Knowing that she was her own best advocate makes me want to fight even harder for my own mental health, to fight for better funding for mental health awareness and treatment.  

She will be greatly missed by many. 

She is now one with the Force. 

Tonight I will start a marathon of the Star Wars movies. 

17 December 2016

Song of the Night

Twenty years later and this song is still relevant af. 

Ignore the slideshow, listen to the lyrics. 

I wish I could stay optimistic about the future given the current political state of my nation, but sadly it's impossible. 



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08 December 2016

Big Life Changes

My life has had a significant change.

My father passed away almost two weeks ago now.

He passed away on November 28th from complications of stage four lung cancer. My mother told me the next morning, on my birthday of all days.

Since I am the only child he associates with I was the one who had to take care of his arrangements. It isn't something that I ever assumed I'd be doing at the age of 32.

Oddly enough, things have been easier than I imagined. I have a feeling that it won't truly hit me until I get his ashes home to me, when I get the death certificate. I have been very preoccupied trying to get everything done and tell the people who need to know that he's gone.

I worry that one day I'll forget what his voice sounds like, his laugh or the way he smelled.

I'm sad that my children will never get the chance to meet their grandfather, and that they will be like me growing up thinking that people only have a grandmother.

I am comforted by the fact that he isn't in pain anymore, that he's with his family as he was the last surviving sibling.

Cherish your family. Tell them you love them. Spend time with them. You never know when they won't be there anymore.


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15 November 2016

Song of the Night

I heard this on Simply Kpop the other night for the first time and fell in love. This MV is so cute!

I love TWICE so much. 



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14 November 2016

Lost Posts: Etude House Surprise Essence Concealer

(This is yet another "lost post" that has been sitting in my drafts for a very long time. I did have to retake some pictures since the product pictures were taken on my old burner phone and looked horrifying.)

Of all of the things I got from my Etude House haul last week, I am the most in love with the Surprise Essence concealer. 

13 November 2016

Easy Dinner: Veal Parm

Other than skincare and makeup, cooking is one of my absolute favorite past times.

My mother always jokes that I can take a handful of random ingredients and make a fantastic dinner that she would have never in a million years thought of making. I think it comes from necessity - I hate waste, so it's not unusual for me to combine leftovers and make something entirely new.

Yesterday I was given a package of veal cutlets and had absolutely no freakin idea of what I was going to make. I've never even eaten veal!

Twenty minutes of google-fu and I found something that sounded good - veal parm.


10 November 2016

Song of the Night

Feeling a little rage tonight, even though this isn't the most rage song.

Don't be mad cuz I'm doin' me better than you doin' you. That's my mantra of the night.



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I'm Still With Her

I am so sickened and saddened by the results of the election.

If you don't wish to read more about the election and my feelings on it, I've put it under a cut.


09 November 2016

Detox Blues

The last few days have been hell in a handbasket.

My doctor discovered that the blood pressure problems I was having was directly related to the Effexor I was taking, so she decided to discontinue it. I am ok with that mainly because I'm not depressed, I'm just an anxious little weirdo.



Effexor is an SNRI, a drug that helps block the re-absorption of serotonin and norepinephrine. This creates a physical dependency. Of course, when you build a physical dependency that means when you decide to stop taking it you will go through withdrawal, even though the doctors will call it discontinuation syndrome.

The symptoms vary from person to person in severity, but they generally involve flu like symptoms.

My doc discovered the bp thing last week and decided to put me on a lower dose of Effexor to taper me off, because you can't just stop taking it because of the physical dependency you develop. I was on 75mg a day, which is moderately low. Some people I've seen on three times that. To taper off, she was supposed to send me a scrip for 37.5mg.

That scrip didn't arrive at my pharmacy.


17 October 2016

Song of the Night

This has been my jam lately! I love to blast k-pop and clean the house, and this song is super motivating!


What are your motivating songs? 


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Lost Posts: Summer of Samples Week 1 Summary

(I went into my drafts section, and OMG I have so many posts I never shared! Here we go, Petite Feet: The Lost Posts)


I made it through the first week of my sampling!  Here's the roundup.

June 27

๐ŸŒ› Last night's sample: History of Whoo All in One cream. ๐ŸŒ› 

First off, I love this brand so much. I wish I could afford it on a regular basis! #brokegirlproblems! 
Just like the last cream of theirs that I used, I was not at all disappointed with the moisture payoff. If you have very oily skin or live in a humid climate like I do, you may want to skip this for day use. 
It almost had the texture of petroleum jelly in my opinion, until you apply it. It went on very smooth and didn't feel greasy. My skin felt like it had gotten an extra boost of moisture that my normal night creams just don't provide 
Smell is mildly medicinal, but not at all unpleasant.
Best part? No breakouts this morning! Heavier creams generally cause at least one breakout, especially when Aunt Flo is due in town, but I woke up this morning with plumper skin minus the breakouts. Win! 
Will I purchase? Maybe if i had the extra money. For now I will stick to what I can afford ๐Ÿ˜…


June 28





๐ŸŒ› Last night was all about Etude House๐ŸŒ› 

I already love the Baking Powder Crunch Pore Scrub, so I had great feelings going into the cleansing foam. I used it with my Etude face brush not expecting it to have the same grit as the scrub. It foams yet exfoliates very nicely. I felt clean yet not dried out. Definitely want the full size! 

Even though it's been out a while, I haven't tried the Moistful Collagen products mainly because I feared they would be too heavy. I couldn't have been more wrong! The essence is thin all while leaving the skin feeling moisturized without the weight. Same with the cream. It's got more of a gel texture in my opinion. It's light and smells ahhhmazing. I didn't feel like I had a million products on my face even after I'd finished my full routine. 

Etude never disappoints me ❤️❤️ Total toot!

June 29




๐ŸŒ› Tonight's sample is the Tony Moly Panda's Dream White Magic Cream ๐ŸŒ› 
If you're looking for an instant white to even out your skin tone then this is it. It's got a very light and whipped texture and a lovely smell, even though the scent is rather strong. 
I found that this went on smooth but didn't absorb very well at all. It took some work to get it to blend into my skin.

This cream completely lacks moisture, which is good if you put makeup on over it. I personally found it extremely drying, which made my nose area even oilier in the end as it tried to overcompensate for the dryness. 
Would I buy this? Probably not. I've seen lots of hype around this and I just didn't think it was worth it. I have a second pouch that I'll try again later to make sure it's not just my skin being ornery. 
Have you used this and had better results?



June 30


๐ŸŒ› Last night was all about Tatcha, another brand I'm absolutely crazy about๐ŸŒ› 
The indigo soothing rice enzyme powder lived up to all of the expectations I had based on my use of their other rice powders. It gently exfoliates while soothing thanks to the indigo. Bonus points for being blue! My skin felt clean without being irritated or dried out, which usually happens after I exfoliate. 
Ok, the luminous deep hydration firming serum... It's so damn beautiful. I sat there like a big dork and watched it sparkle in the light before I actually used it. I found it to feel rather heavy even though it's a very light serum. My dry spots drank it in, but my oilier spots rebelled. It is definitely best used in smaller quantities. 
I finished off with the ageless enriching renewal cream because I'm addicted to moisture. It smells like the other creams I've used from the brand, and felt like it went from cream to oil as I put it on. Very smooth, very moisturizing. It is a bit heavy so a little goes a long way. 
I'm not sure if using all of these together was a good idea since its the middle of summer and I did start to sweat it off not long after, but this morning my skin felt amazing and only had one or two breakouts - all hormonal thank blob. My skin really dug the combo of soothing and super moisture shot. 
What are your favorite Tatcha products! (I'm soooo addicted to their rice powders and lippies ❤️❤️❤️)


July 1




๐ŸŒ› Tonight's sample fare: Guรฉrisson 9complex essence and cream๐ŸŒ› 
I know I've talked about this before, but I really love it. 
The essence made my skin soooo happy. My dry areas drank it in, my oily areas drank it in, overall a very happy face! It is very light and moisture packed. It also smells deliciously citrusy mixed with floral. 
I can sing lots of praises of the cream, too. Creamy and goes on smooth, smells heavenly, and perfectly compliments the essence. I can only imagine what my skin would do if I used the whole line! 
This is definitely a tootie toot toot!



For those of you who don't already, follow my instagram for more of these micro-reviews! I'd love to have you as a part of the fam ❤️

(In the coming days I'll be putting out more of these lost posts. It's fun reading them and reliving the feelings I had when I posted them!)





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