I'm very angry with myself.
Over the last three months I've gained almost 15 pounds. My life has been extremely stressful which has lead to both eating on the go (since I'm always at work) and then good old comfort eating. I'm only at 123.2 lbs, which doesn't sound like a lot, it just looks like a lot on my five feet tall frame.
After being 105 lbs at my slimmest, that feels like defeat. I feel like a total fatty mcfatfat, always eating and unable to fit into her clothes.
What was even harder than realizing exactly how much I weighed was the realization that my ten year high school reunion is coming up in two months. I don't want to go there looking like I do. I'd rather sit at home and drink pink champagne crying while listening to the 90s station on the radio, remembering better days.
Tonight I worked out for two hours, on top of the crazy cleaning I did at work. Light dinner, which will be followed by a light breakfast tomorrow morning and two more hours of working out after I get home from work.
I know healthy is the way to be, that thin isn't always in, and all of that rubbish, but I'm simply not happy with myself at this point. I feel tubby and frumpy and out of shape. I'm going to do my best to change that fact.