20 April 2013

The Fat and the Furious

I think I have hit rock bottom wardrobe wise.

I have nothing in there, other than large t-shirts, that fit properly.

Even my jeans are snug to the point that they are uncomfortable.

So what did this tubby bitch do?

I bought leggings. Like six pairs of leggings. Since they can expand with my waistline.

For those of you who are unaware, I gained about 20lbs since I broke my ankle. I feel enormous, even though I'm barely 140lbs. This is the largest I've ever been, and I'm simply miserable.

To make matters worse, I'm starting to slip back into some of my old eating disorder habits, such as eating very lightly, if at all, and exercising until I nearly throw up.

The icing on the cake was my roomie telling me she likes the way I look, a bit pudgy. She told me last night that when I was my normal size (of about 110lbs, still big to me) I looked almost ana skinny. And I was absolutely nowhere near ana skinny. Been there, done that, earned the name Skeletor.

(She is a larger girl herself, so I'm not sure if she was being honest, or nice/nasty.)

All in all, I feel pretty terrible about myself right now. I haven't felt this way since I did have the eating disorder. I'm afraid that I will slip right back into old habits. As they say, old habits die hard, especially when it comes to ED. It's like it's always there, at the back of your mind, nagging you. "Don't eat that, you'll regret it." "Oh, you want to eat that piece of chicken? You must love thick thighs."

It doesn't end. It's a fight that I don't feel I'll ever win, both on the weight gain side and then on the battling the ED relapse side.

Let me be clear, telling someone with an ED to eat a sandwich isn't constructive. It's just going to make me mad.

I need to get this weight off the healthy way this time. I can't go back to how I was. I was sickly, too thin, and always cranky. I need to be healthy.

19 April 2013

Most Awesome Professor Ever

I have the best professor ever.

He's given  me until the end of the summer to complete my finance course.

No word from the leadership prof. Little pissed.

That's life.

Back to finance. I'm so far behind I need to double time it if I plan to make it out with an A.

18 April 2013

Spooky Empire Orlando and Norman Reedus

Hello, lovelies!

Life has certainly turned for the better since I broke my ankle.

I've got a strange new family unit going on, I've become incredibly active on Twitter, and I've decided to spend more time focused on me.

My first act of focusing on me rather than work was purchasing tickets for me, my bf, and bestie for Spooky Empire in Orlando. They have tons of guests coming, but my initial target was Norman Reedus.

Who is Norman Reedus?

Unless you've been living under a fucking rock all of your life, you'll recognize him from such roles in the two Boondock Saints movies, as well as Daryl Dixon on The Walking Dead. He's also done various smaller roles in television, quite a few movies (Blade II is an example) and he's pretty much got his own video game (The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct). Then there is his modeling career.

All in all, this man has a pretty vast portfolio under his belt. He's also one of the most humble actors you'd ever wanna meet. Proof? Ask some of the lovely Reedsluts on Twitter that have had the chance to meet him.

When I found out he was going to be at Spooky Empire in May I jumped on that shit. Jumped on it.

Mainly because I want to see if he is really as humble and nice as everyone says. No man that looks that good can be that humble. Most highly attractive men I've ever met in my life were either total douchebags, or just nice enough to get you into the sack before they turned into total demon seeds.

I also wanna ask him if he will let me touch his titanium eye socket. I'll gladly offer my titanium ankle up in exchange. My ankle doesn't feel so weird, so I don't imagine his eye will feel so strange. I also want to know who did his surgery and how on earth he came up pretty much scar free. I'm going to have an ugly scar for the rest of my life on my ankle thanks to this break and surgery. Meh, chicks dig scars, so I think I'll be alright.

As a last hoorah, I want to ask him if he will switch glasses with me for a picture. My Hello Kitty glasses for his Ray Bans. I highly doubt that is going to happen.

I've decided I'm going to wear my Things That Make My Dick Hard shirt, add his name to the bottom, and possibly say "guurl, you made me pop my tuck" if I think about it.

That's if I even make it through the autograph line. I've heard his lines are notoriously long and I possibly won't even get to meet him. That will make me pretty sad, considering I've spent an upwards of four hundred dollars already between tickets and a hotel room for three.

Another really exciting thing about this horror weekend is a Warriors reunion! I told my bf about that, and he immediately wanted to go. Then I leaked that Norman would be there and he got even more excited.

The couple that fangirls together stays together.


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