Flat out frustrated.
Mainly because even though I lost weight (yay!) and feel better, I am still considered obese by the terms of BMI. I am just over five feet tall, and dropped down to 157lbs from 160lbs in a week or so by cutting soda from my diet and lowering my sugar intake. If I really think about it, I've lowered all of my food intake to be honest. I just don't feel like eating. I'll eat when I'm hungry but that's about it.
Out of curiosity I decided to plug my height and weight into the BMI calculator at the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute. BMI is thrown around so much when it comes to figuring out if one is considered overweight or whatever.
Now get this: If I put my height in at 5ft, I'm considered obese.
If I put it in at 5 feet and 1 inch, I'm just overweight.
I hate these words so much because I am otherwise a healthy individual if you don't take my vertigo and weird stomach issues into account.
When I see those words on that chart, I don't see the words overweight or obese. I see huge. I see big fat cow, whale, fat ass, no self control. I see "you are just another statistic in America".
This also stems from some old low self esteem issues and the fact that I've always had an abnormal relationship with food. It doesn't make me feel anything but low about myself when I see words like that.
I am nowhere near as bad as some of the other people in my town. It's not an uncommon occurrence to see someone riding in one of those motorized carts at the supermarket not because they are disabled, but because they are so obese that walking is uncomfortable and simply not feasible. But when I hear my doctor say that I am obese, I feel like I am one of those people who will have to be carried out of their house by a flat bed truck when they die, like they will have to cut the side of my house out. I go from feeling healthy at 157lbs to feeling like I'm 600lbs and need my own show on TLC.
It's depressing as all get out.
So why should we rely on such scales like that, that give one chart for bodies that vary so much? We aren't all the same, and we have different needs for our bodies. Even when my sister was in tip top shape, because of the fact that muscle mass is much heavier than fat, she was still considered to have a high BMI.
I don't get it. It's irritating to me.